What Goes Up Must Come Hurtling Back Down

March 16, 2010 § 4 Comments

Yesterday was a great day.  I got a good dose of feeling needed and useful and it did this body good.

This morning however, was not so great.

Finally feeling better, my shoulder’s unrelenting pain has finally dumbed itself down to a dull ache, damnit if I didn’t feel like I had a million things to catch up on.

I walked into Daughter’s room at 10:30 this morning to find her in bed playing on her DS.  That didn’t bother me too much.  What bothered me was that the room was a disaster.  Already worn clothes crammed haphazardly into open drawers, dirty laundry piled in every corner and her bathroom looking like an explosion went off in there.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake!  Really?!  Is it too much to ask to put your freakin’ clothes away neatly?  And honestly, this bathroom is digusting, do you even care?!”

Daughter started tearing up and before I could even hear myself, my mother’s voice came charging through my mouth, “What on earth are you crying about?”

Daughter: You’re yelling at me.

My first reaction was to say, “No I’m not, stop being such a baby.”  Instead though, and believe me it’s taken A LOT of years of parenting to get to this point, I put my own emotions aside and let that sink in.

Me: I am?

Daughter: (wiping her eyes) Yes.

Me:  I’m sorry.  (giving her a hug)

And from there we talked it out.  I admitted to her that I haven’t been talking about what’s been bothering me, how I’ve been feeling and that I don’t know what I’m doing from one day to the next.

She was, what really shouldn’t have been, surprisingly understanding.  She’s a smart cookie, my Daughter and though often not seen by the outside world, she’s a rock.  Her willingness to forgive moments of irrationality, her ability to put a smile on a face and her unwavering faith in everyone’s ability to overcome any obstacle is a gift beyond words.

How could I yell at her?

Because I’m not perfect.  There, I said it.

§ 4 Responses to What Goes Up Must Come Hurtling Back Down

  • Shady Lady says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this moment. I have been struggling so much lately and have said the same type of hurtful things. I need to learn to separate my emotions so that I can embrace and support Princess’ emotions. It’s so easy to get caught up in things. Anyway, I really appreciate this post.

  • Sheri says:

    Shady – You’re welcome. I admit though it wasn’t easy to post that. I had to dig deep for courage to be that honest. No one likes to admit to their less than stellar parenting moments. 🙂

  • Cate says:

    This is lovely – and a timely reminder to me as I’ve been head butting my girl a bit lately too. I’m sure that 90% of it is down to my head current head-space.

  • Sheri says:

    Cate – Thanks. And yes, I know that my snapping and bitching is all about where I am emotionally and has nothing to do with Daughter. I feel very fortunate that she is so understanding and patient with me. 🙂

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