Second, Third and Fourth Guessing
May 21, 2010 § 6 Comments
The last couple of weeks have found me more and more concerned about our decision to continue to homeschool/unschool.
The truth is, I really believe my concerns are more about me than they are about Daughter, who is still very happy with our current educational choices and is still adamant that she has no interest in going back to school full-time.
However, she has recently expressed an interest in going to college someday and this idea makes me just as nervous as it does delighted. Will she really be ready for college when she hasn’t done a scrap of schoolwork in the last two years other than intermittently doing a math sheet or two a couple of times a month?
Though she reads at an adult level, can type over 60 words per minute and remembers the minutest details of something she is interested in, she still does have limitations such as handwriting issues and delayed social development that greatly affected her performance in elementary school…oh, and she still struggles with basic math concepts.
Should this even be a concern when college is a good three or four years away? She is only 14 and a ways away from even being sure what she wants to take.
Still, I want her to be prepared for post-secondary education but how do I do that when she hasn’t been exposed to formal middle or secondary education?
And am I just looking for excuses because I’m tired and have absolutely no idea what our next step should be, if any at all? And I am tired, oh so tired.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my Daughter and love spending time with her more than anything in the world. But three and half years of 24/7 is starting to wear on me. Sure, I get the occasional break and she’s certainly old enough and capable of spending time by herself if I need to get out during the day.
She also has her interest classes, her Youth Nights and her friends that get her out of the house at least a couple of times a week – summer is coming too so very shortly that will increase tenfold.
That’s why I said I think the worry is more about me than it is her and homeschooling. I’m the one having trouble with the lack of structure, the total absence of have-to’s and the ever increasing boredom.
Maybe it’s just that for the first time in my life I have consciously decided to move away from all the drama that I had become so accustomed to. Could these unsettling feelings be a result of the peace and quiet that I ordered?
Oh lord, leave it to me to be emotionally rattled by peace and quiet! Seriously, am I a mess or what?!
Hubby thinks I need to get a life a part-time job or take a class, something that gets me out of the house, doing things for myself and worrying less about things that are fine the way they are.
I think his biggest concern is that I’m going to start inviting drama over again to come and hang out with me. Maybe that’s why he got me those garden gnomes. 😉
Anyway, if you got this far in reading this rant Thank You, I appreciate it. And if you have some kind words of support, encouragement and even empathy I’ll really appreciate them too.