When No News is Worse than Bad News

June 28, 2010 § 3 Comments

Sort of a downer post, sorry.

Things with Son have not only not improved, they’ve gotten worse.

I reached a breaking point with him in that I was no longer satisfied with handing over money to him knowing he was not being entirely upfront about his situation.

He’s been playing me, much like he used to when he was four and would bat his long eyelashes at me and throw me an, “I love you Mommy!” when he wanted something.

The hardest part is that I’m not sure what the real problem is because he’s not being open with me.  Sure, he’s feeding me a whole bunch of what I want to here but I can see through that.

So finally I just told him that I wasn’t even willing to discuss giving him any more money until he started being straight with me about what’s going on with him.

That was Thursday evening and the only thing I’ve heard from him since was that he was taking off for the weekend and he’d be in touch with me on Sunday.

I’m pretty sure he’s physically okay and believe me that’s something, I know that there are plenty of Moms out there who don’t even have that confidence.  But emotionally and spiritually, I worry that he’s losing himself.

Maybe I’m wrong, maybe he’s just shaking off the last of his teenage stubbornness and waking up to the reality of life as an adult.  I’m really hoping for that.

Still, until I hear from him I can only wonder, worry and pray.


Well that was freaky…

June 23, 2010 § 3 Comments

We had an earthquake this afternoon.  Of course by California standards I’m sure it was more like “just a little shake”.   😉

Still, for us in the Ottawa Valley, they are a very rare occurrence happening only every 10 or so years.  The shaking lasted less than a minute and merely rattled a few windows and Daughter’s nerves.  It scared her quite a bit, it was the first one she actually felt.  A few hugs and reassurances that everything was fine set her at ease.

The last one we had was when she was about 5 and it was very early in the morning.  We all slept through it, though I did wake up right after and knew we had had one.  I woke Hubby up and told him we had just had an earthquake, he didn’t believe me and told me to go back to sleep.

When the new reports came out later that day he called me and apologized.

This time Hubby was in the downtown core and they evacuated his office building.  He said it was like being in school when the fire alarm unexpectedly goes off (like the time he pulled it).  People filling the halls, whispering their questioning  surprise at one another and then everyone standing around outside like lost sheep waiting to be herded back to their pens.

Just got word, as I was writing this, that the earthquake is being measured at 5.0 magnitude.  That’s much higher than I thought but then I was outside with my feet firmly on the ground.  The epicenter was actually north east of us and apparently the effects more severe.

And later today severe thunderstorms in the forecast.  Definitely an interesting day, nature wise, around these parts.

Parenting Young Adults is Like a Game of Chess

June 22, 2010 § 4 Comments

I’m not sure where I’m going with the title of this post…it’s been a busy few days with lots of family, friends and their subsequent drama and I’m a little wiped.

Not major drama though, thank goodness, just the usual run of the mill mundane buzzing that goes along with days of people continuously coming and going.

As it happens, in amongst the background noise was Son, again, bringing up how difficult he is finding his current living arrangements.  He mentioned, again, how much his roommates are getting under his skin and how he wished he could just move out.

I suppose this is where the chess reference comes in because I had to think very hard about my next move.

We just went through this a couple of weeks ago.  I’ve already gone the unbiased, compassionate but detached observer route.  I knew I would have to start playing more aggressively.

By the time your kids are in their twenties you know them pretty well.  Despite what they think about how well you know them, raising a child from infancy and dealing with their personalities the whole time gives you a pretty good idea of what they’re like.

You’ve got to play to their strengths while letting them know that you are aware, but not judging, of their weaknesses.  You’ve got to blend unconditional and tough love into a mix that will be easily digested.  You’ve got to set boundaries while offering the assurance that in an emergency, they most definitely can be breached.

Most of all…you’ve got to throw money at them.  It’s a lot cheaper to pay them to go away than it is to have them move back in.  😉

That last bit was a joke…sort of.

Sunday’s Share

June 20, 2010 § 4 Comments

I’m squeezing this one in…it’s not long before it will be Monday.  As always, thanks to Cate @ Moments of Whimsy for hosting and for her lovely entry this week.  Go read it.

This is my contribution for the week…

Nothing in life was created to deter, everything exists to merely challenge.


Have a great week!

In Which I Cop to Avoiding

June 17, 2010 § 2 Comments

I said I would write weekly about how the diet and exercise routine are going.  I’m somewhat disappointed in myself for not doing so and worse for not actually dieting or exercising.

And yet I’ve lost the requisite four pounds that I had hoped I would, go figure.   I’m sure it has to do with the amount of work we’re doing around the house and yard combined with the complete lack of desire to do any cooking resulting in eating mostly salads.

Whatever works I suppose.  The drawback to this is that eventually the work will get done, I’ll start lounging on the new deck, cooking yummy, calorie laced food and by fall I’ll simply gain back what I’ve lost and then some.

Enough about that though, on a more positive note, our vegetable garden is doing very well.

Here it is back in April when we started it…

And here it is now…

Sadly the spinach, on the left, didn’t grow at all but as you can see the cucumbers and the beans are doing very well.  The cabbage is also okay but one of the heads appears to be infested and we’re not sure about it.  Not shown are the radish, carrots and tomatoes.  Though the tomatoes are holding their own, something has been feasting on the radish and carrot tops (I suspect it’s the wild bunnies).

Anyway, things are moving along and we’ve got a busy few weeks ahead with Father’s Day, MIL’s birthday and then Daughter’s birthday in which we take our first ever train ride to Toronto (the big city) and do some sightseeing and visit Canada’s Wonderland…which incidentally is where Hubby and I met (all those many years ago).


Shouting At Stone

June 15, 2010 § 4 Comments

I can not escape these foundations
One way or another my strength depends on them

Still it has always felt more like prison than fortress
Loving foundation or crumbling rocks, I could only guess

It depended on the hour and the day
One was happy and the other was pay

And I’m shouting at stone, I’m begging the blind to just see
I’m hoping to be heard and seen without having to find me

Holding the rest of my senses hostage
Not yet willing to pay complete homage

I’m shouting at stone and begging the blind to just see
Instead of being joyful and using all my senses to create me

I can not escape these foundations
One way or another my strength depends on them

Sunday’s Share – And the Winner Is…

June 13, 2010 § 4 Comments

Thank you to all who offered up your suggestions for my Name This Gnome contest…part of last week’s Sunday’s Share hosted by Cate @ Moments of Whimsy.

I wrote all the suggestions down on slips of paper.

I folded the slips up, put them in a bowl and had Daughter draw a winner.


“BOB” suggested by Cate’s daughter B.

Kind of freaky because I won the draw Cate held a few weeks ago…but I swear it was a totally random draw and I didn’t play favourites.


Congrats to B! Cate, just send me an e-mail with your relevant info and I’ll get that care package in the mail asap.  I’d show you all what the prize is but I’m not sure myself yet.  I’ll do a follow up post once B receives it.  🙂

Again I’d like to thank everyone for their submissions and I loved the names so much that I’ve decided to use them for the gnomes I adopt in the future.  I can’t wait to fill my gardens with a Noliet, Frank, Norbert, Tomte and Mr. Gigglesworth.   😀

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