Dodging Bullets

June 9, 2010 § 4 Comments

This is Son…one of my pride and joy and forever my baby.

Clearly this picture demonstrates how his badass demeanor is mostly a facade and he’s really a big softy at heart.  Lookit how comfy the kitty is!  He’s also very sensitive and a bit of a drama queen.  Trust me, he knows I think that as we’ve had plenty of conversations about it.

The other day he came to me complaining that his roommates were being “impossible” and that he wasn’t sure he could handle living with them anymore AND mentioned he was seriously considering going back to school.

This kid knows the game.  He knows the way to Mommy’s heart is to play the “back to school” card.  Though I supported his decision to quit high school at 17 because he was working and not even living at home (what choice did I have?), I always stressed that if wanted to go back to school at any time I would be equally supportive.

But what he was really needling for was for me to offer for him to come back and live at home.  Of course after 3 “…and then they…” I just asked him outright, “Are you thinking that you could move back here?”

His response, “Well, I was thinking that it would make it easier to work and go to school without the stress of roommates.”

The Mommy me wanted so much to say, “Sure.  You got it.  I’ll just clear out the back room and you can bunk there. This will be great!”

But Sheri simply said, “Okay, well I’ll talk to Dad and I’ll let you know what we decide.”

That was my way of dodging the emotional bullet.  I already knew what we would decide and Hubby merely confirmed it with, “Look, we can’t take him in every time he decides to shit where he eats.  He’s almost 22 years old and he’s got to learn to clean up his own messes.”

And so the next time I talked to Son I told him that he should try working things out with his mates before he considers just walking away.  Aside from the friendships, there are financial obligations he has to them that can’t be so easily dismissed.

The last thing I want to encourage in my children is running away from things that challenge them to grow and expand.  Sometimes things that are scary are good for us and help us realize our own strength.

In effect, I lovingly and respectfully told him to suck it up and deal with it.  Not an easy thing for a Mommy to do but one that was necessary.

And Son sent me an e-mail today saying that he’s worked things out with his roommates and that classes start in September.

Phew!  They should make flak jackets for parents.   🙂


§ 4 Responses to Dodging Bullets

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