Parenting Young Adults is Like a Game of Chess
June 22, 2010 § 4 Comments
I’m not sure where I’m going with the title of this post…it’s been a busy few days with lots of family, friends and their subsequent drama and I’m a little wiped.
Not major drama though, thank goodness, just the usual run of the mill mundane buzzing that goes along with days of people continuously coming and going.
As it happens, in amongst the background noise was Son, again, bringing up how difficult he is finding his current living arrangements. He mentioned, again, how much his roommates are getting under his skin and how he wished he could just move out.
I suppose this is where the chess reference comes in because I had to think very hard about my next move.
We just went through this a couple of weeks ago. I’ve already gone the unbiased, compassionate but detached observer route. I knew I would have to start playing more aggressively.
By the time your kids are in their twenties you know them pretty well. Despite what they think about how well you know them, raising a child from infancy and dealing with their personalities the whole time gives you a pretty good idea of what they’re like.
You’ve got to play to their strengths while letting them know that you are aware, but not judging, of their weaknesses. You’ve got to blend unconditional and tough love into a mix that will be easily digested. You’ve got to set boundaries while offering the assurance that in an emergency, they most definitely can be breached.
Most of all…you’ve got to throw money at them. It’s a lot cheaper to pay them to go away than it is to have them move back in. 😉
That last bit was a joke…sort of.