Keeping it Real – A Woman’s Story

February 1, 2011 § 3 Comments

That title is also a warning.  The squeamish need not read on.

I’m pretty sure I’m experiencing the onset of peri-menopause.  Which is really the onset of menopause but for now the “peri” is good.

I’m late.  I’ve been experiencing all the signs that “Aunt Flo” is on her way for over a week now; a quick temper, an even quicker starting to cry for no reason reflex, a sudden need to have things in order…RIGHT NOW, a melancholy desire to look at old photos and lament, but so far no “results”.

The last two “results” I did have were heavy enough, even with protection, to ruin undergarments, pj’s and sheets.  (This is the keeping it real part.)

I KNOW my body is changing and that something is happening…something different.  Something I’m not used to and not enjoying.

We talk about hot flashes and not “resulting” anymore.  We makes jokes and make light of it.

What we don’t talk about is how sad it makes us feel.

How not menstruating regularly anymore takes some getting used to.  How, even though the plastic clips on my fallopian tubes have made sure that I  wouldn’t be able to conceive for the last 14 years, nature is now telling me that my time is up.

It’s not that I want to have another baby.  I just want to still BE ABLE to have another baby.  I was only 23 years old when I got “fixed” and in the back of my mind I held onto the slim chance I could have it reversed.

I don’t know how much it has to do with it but I had my first child at 16 and for a long time I HAD to define myself by that role.  Mommy is the only thing I really know that I excelled at.

What we don’t talk about is how sad it makes us feel.



§ 3 Responses to Keeping it Real – A Woman’s Story

  • Shady Lady says:

    I feel you Sheri! Although, I knew I was done after Princess and the Lizard King got snipped. And my fertility was marginal at best. Princess was my 1% chance they gave me after too many attempts (even with meds). Princess was conceived med free. Anyway, I’m at the point now that I like missing and enjoy going sometimes 3 or 4 months without any “results”. If you can find a homeopath in your are, s/he can help with the side effects of peri-menopause. It saved me!! (((((HUGS)))))

  • Sheri says:

    Shady – Thanks! It’s amazing how alone you can feel with this. The only other person who can really understand is another woman who’s gone through it. Hubby tries but he just keeps saying, “I thought you’d be happy.” 🙂

  • Cate says:

    Huge [hugs] girl.

    I experienced a bit of that when I had my hysterectomy at 39. That kind of op puts an abrupt end to things!
    It’s also weird as I know that I’m on the edge of the big M too, but it is harder to work out where things are at without the physical symptoms that you are describing.

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