36 subtract 15 or Thinking Backwards
June 15, 2011 § 5 Comments
Hubby came home today and asked how many rows I have left on Daughter’s scarf.
I twitched a little. Really? It’s not enough that I’ve spent seemingly endless hours over the last two weeks furiously clacking away, you want me to actually THINK about how close I am to finally being done?
I gave him the only answer that I could muster, “36 subtract 15.” At the time, I just wasn’t ready to think about being done, what I would do with my time once it was finally over. I was still thinking backwards.
I was thinking about a year and a half ago when I decided to take this on and all the little bits of life that have happened since I started this project. It really has been a crazy time and during all of it, I had the scarf to go back to.
Those markings represent rows of the coloured blocks that make up the scarf, my pattern. I’ve also been using that pen, the same one, the whole time. It’s odd I guess but I’ve grown attached to them both. When things were bad and I didn’t know what to do with myself, I found solace in the repetitive consistency of jotting down my progress, even if it was one row at a time.
I think I’ll be a little sad when I’m actually, finally finished it. I’ll be thrilled for Daughter of course, I know how much it means to her and she’s been so patient. For me though, things have changed so much since I started it that I won’t be able to help lamenting…a little.
For the most part however, I’m pretty sure I’ll be relieved and just happy that I can move on to something else.