August 29, 2011 § 4 Comments
I’m definitely changing. I’m thinking it’s something they call maturity. Wisdom even? Mastering the art of being in the illusion but not of it? I don’t know…I never really understood that last one.
What I do know is that I’m finding myself dealing with life differently lately. My life has not changed all that much but still somehow my perspective has shifted.
I’m no longer drawn towards other people’s drama, even my own family. I’m no longer kept awake by thoughts of whether or not I did or said the right thing in a certain situation. Moreover, I’m much less uncomfortable saying no to people and experiences I’d just rather not deal with.
Funny that, that last bit. I spent my whole life so far thinking I HAD to deal with, put up with and endure situations and people that I’d rather not have anything to do with.
That’s where the pain comes in. Who knew that all this time…I had a freakin’ choice?
*Note to Hubby – That was rhetorical!
August 25, 2011 § 4 Comments
I’m so glad that no one participating in this project is a stickler for regular and consistent participation. I’ve let the last few weeks go by without so much as a mention and for a few weeks before that my attention was sporadic at best.
Thanks to Cate @ Moments of Whimsy for spearheading Project 2011 as a way of supporting and encouraging each other in our goals/resolutions for the year. And for not kicking me out. 😛
And for the first time in weeks, I actually do have some progress to report…
It’s actually starting to look like a boot…well, sort of. The pins need to be rearranged, I’m not happy with where they are now. When it came down to it, there’s only 6 pieces for each boot. It’s the strategic cutting, placement and attachment of each piece that is the hard part.
Honestly, it’s just fiddly and requires a lot of pins, even more patience and my eyeglasses. I’m almost done the muslin model (shown) and will soon start on the fabric version in the rusty plaid. Once they’re done and I’m happy with all the adjustments, and believe me – THERE WILL BE adjustments, then I’ll work on knitting the pieces for the wool version.
The point is, I’m still at it and haven’t yet relegated the project to the bottom of my knitting bag. Woohoo! 😀
Hope you’re all still at your goals.
August 23, 2011 § 3 Comments
I mentioned a few posts ago how it’s been a crazy busy summer. It really has and frankly I’m more than ready to move into fall. Of course the weather has different ideas and it’s still going to be summer around here for another couple of weeks.
Don’t get me wrong! It’s been an absolutely amazing, adventure of a summer and I’m so glad for it. Our trip to Toronto was a blast and I don’t think it’s ever been more fun hanging with Hubby and Daughter than on that vacation.
I also spent a great deal of time with my sister and we’re getting along better than ever. Subsequently, I got to hang out with my nephews way more than usual and it was a great deal of fun.
We also bought a long coveted toy in our camper/trailer and even got out to use it. I absolutely reveled in the hours I spent cleaning, stocking and organizing everything. The camp out itself was just icing on the cake.
But like a roller coaster, there comes a point when you start asking yourself, “Does this ride end anytime soon?”
Because along with all those highs were also some exceptional lows. Things with Son are not good. Tumultuous is the best word I know to describe it. I’m at the end of my apron strings now and I don’t really see much option at this point other than to just let go.
Be assured that I’m not all pity-party about it. I’m not crying into my coffee in the morning. I’ve accepted that Son is experiencing the consequences of his decisions and that the best thing I can do for him is to back the hell off. Still, it does tug a mother’s heart to see her child choose such a rough road.
But then, I did too. And sometimes I wonder, despite my own experience of growing up a little too fast, perhaps I’ve been hindering Son by trying to cushion his fall all this time. By trying to make sure he didn’t have to go through what I did, did I just prolong his immaturity?
I honestly don’t know. *SIGH*
In any case, things are what they are and for the most part I’m pretty okay with it. Still, I’ll feel a whole lot better when the air loses all trace of humidity, the sun starts to set a little earlier and when we can harvest the last of this years veggies.
I think I’m ready to begin looking forward to next year.
August 22, 2011 § 1 Comment
About four years ago I met Colleen @ TheNewUnschooler through a search for blogs about unschooling. I honestly don’t remember who commented first on to who’s blog but we hit it off right away and really connected. Daughter and I were not quite a year into our homeschooling adventure and the school at home thing really wasn’t working for us.
I was still sort of desperate then to define and subsequently justify withdrawing Daughter, at 11, from public school and the life we began living. And it was a whole new life filled with questions from family, friends and even strangers, experiences we never imagined being possible and amazing opportunities without time restrictions.
Despite the world being our oyster, I still struggled with doubt and feelings of inadequacy when it came to taking on the responsibility of our child’s education and I often found myself flailing having little idea what I was even thinking, let alone trying to do.
Enter Colleen and her blog. To this day, my all time favourite post of hers is one of her first. It’s a picture of a chart she devised that measured her thoughts and emotions over the course of a day or maybe it’s a over a week. Even though I can’t remember, nor can I find it on her blog, it is truly brilliant and I knew right away I was going to keep reading.
The reason for this shout out is that Colleen has decided to retire her unschooling blog. For me, it feels like the end of an era. Where we, who survived the trenches together, let go of homeschooling/unschooling as something marked and requiring definition.
In practice, it just becomes a way of life and not really notable unto itself. This is just the way we live.
But back then, Colleen’s unabashedly honest posts about what it was like to break away from the mainstream and wrestle with society and its out dated notions about education were a godsend and inspired me. It was totally okay that I freaked out now again. It was understandable that I would have doubts and concerns. And moreover, I was not alone in my determination that, while I never claimed to be an expert, I was sure there was a better way.
So my hat off to you Colleen and I sincerely thank you for all your wonderfully real, sometimes tear jerking, posts about what it’s like to try and do what’s best for your family, especially when most people don’t understand what you’re doing.
I hope you’re not giving up blogging altogether and will start up a new one. 😀
August 22, 2011 § 2 Comments
It was one of those “have to” kind of days around here. And when I opened the fridge this morning I knew what was going to be immediately added to the list…saving the produce that was very seriously considering rotting right where it lay.
Between the zucchini, tomatoes and peaches – I was pretty much up to my armpits in skins, chopping, grating and stewing this afternoon. The grated and sliced zucchini was from ONE zuke. Yep, that’s how big a few of Hubby’s zucchini were, we’re talking blue ribbon at the fair contenders.
I got enough grated zucchini for two loaves and enough slices for one lasagna layer or two casserole sides.
From the tomatoes I got two medium sized jars of stewed tomatoes and there were enough peaches for both a medium and small jar of jam…with a mittful of strawberries thrown in for good measure.
I have to say it was the perfect day for it too. Cooler than it has been all summer at 16 C today, I had the windows open and did not feel the slightest bit oppressed hanging about near the hot stove.
I should be glad too because the temps are going right back up to the low 30’s for the next week or so and we are still without air conditioning. Hubby’s looking into trying to find us an end of season deal but we’ll have to wait until we settle up with the govt.
Seems they get a bit uppity if you neglect your taxes and you OWE them money. Funny that, because they have no problem dicking about when you’re getting a refund.
Hope everyone is having a good week! 😀
August 20, 2011 § 3 Comments
I miss Hubby.
It’s not very sensible, but I seem to miss him more now when I know he’s partying and hanging out with his buddies than I did when he goes away for work. I mean, back in March he was gone for 10 days and I didn’t feel like this until at least day 5 or 6.
Plus, he’ll be home in less than 24 hours. No, it’s not sensible. Nonetheless…
I miss Hubby.
Of course I sincerely hope he’s having a great time. I also hope he’s missing me too, even if it’s just a little bit.
I’m shaking my own head at myself.
August 19, 2011 § Leave a comment
Hubby took off this morning for his buddy’s bachelor weekend. Yes, WEEKEND! A group of guys rented a chalet at Mt. Tremblant in Quebec and are spending the weekend partying, golfing, partying, sleeping, golfing and more partying.
You get the idea. Hubby was actually a little surprised I was okay with him taking off for the whole weekend.
“No really Hon, go. Have a wonderful time.”
Seriously, after 17 years together, an occasional weekend away from each other is a good thing. Besides, there are still a few good camping weekends left where I can take off with my girlfriend up to her cottage. 😛
So Daughter and I have the whole house for the whole weekend to ourselves. Well, not the whole weekend because on Sunday we’re having our annual 6-Birthdays-In-One BBQ. Normally it’s actually 7 birthdays but Daughter got her own Sweet Sixteen party this year.
Yep, you read that right. Between July 12th and September 8th (both being my kids’ birthdays) we have 7 birthdays. We are celebrating my Dad, Hubby, all 3 of my nephews and Son’s birthday all in one big pool party.
It’s exhausting and expensive but it’s still much easier to pull off than 6 separate parties. So, in fact, Hubby being away for the weekend actually makes it easier to focus on the task at hand and get all the prep done.
Plus he’ll be home in time to man the BBQ and I don’t have to worry about blowing myself or anyone else up. Yes, I’m afraid of the BBQ. 😛
Still, I’m kind of looking forward to Monday when we have some semblance of normality return. Except for the dog.
Oh, did I forget to mention we’re also dog sitting for the next ten days as well? Yeah.
It’s been a very busy, crazy summer and in all honesty, I’m already beginning to yearn for the subtle slow down of autumn.