Just Logged On to Let Out a Big Sigh
August 23, 2011 § 3 Comments
I mentioned a few posts ago how it’s been a crazy busy summer. It really has and frankly I’m more than ready to move into fall. Of course the weather has different ideas and it’s still going to be summer around here for another couple of weeks.
Don’t get me wrong! It’s been an absolutely amazing, adventure of a summer and I’m so glad for it. Our trip to Toronto was a blast and I don’t think it’s ever been more fun hanging with Hubby and Daughter than on that vacation.
I also spent a great deal of time with my sister and we’re getting along better than ever. Subsequently, I got to hang out with my nephews way more than usual and it was a great deal of fun.
We also bought a long coveted toy in our camper/trailer and even got out to use it. I absolutely reveled in the hours I spent cleaning, stocking and organizing everything. The camp out itself was just icing on the cake.
But like a roller coaster, there comes a point when you start asking yourself, “Does this ride end anytime soon?”
Because along with all those highs were also some exceptional lows. Things with Son are not good. Tumultuous is the best word I know to describe it. I’m at the end of my apron strings now and I don’t really see much option at this point other than to just let go.
Be assured that I’m not all pity-party about it. I’m not crying into my coffee in the morning. I’ve accepted that Son is experiencing the consequences of his decisions and that the best thing I can do for him is to back the hell off. Still, it does tug a mother’s heart to see her child choose such a rough road.
But then, I did too. And sometimes I wonder, despite my own experience of growing up a little too fast, perhaps I’ve been hindering Son by trying to cushion his fall all this time. By trying to make sure he didn’t have to go through what I did, did I just prolong his immaturity?
I honestly don’t know. *SIGH*
In any case, things are what they are and for the most part I’m pretty okay with it. Still, I’ll feel a whole lot better when the air loses all trace of humidity, the sun starts to set a little earlier and when we can harvest the last of this years veggies.
I think I’m ready to begin looking forward to next year.