March 9, 2016 § Leave a comment
August 6, 2014 § 2 Comments
How easily I forget her…
While I worry about how I will take care of my father
While I work at making a happy union with my husband
While I ache not knowing the whereabouts of my son
She touches my shoulder
Gently, so unobtrusive
Reminding me that she’s still waiting
I’m ashamed about how easily I forget her
She deserves so much better
While I self medicate against a horrific past
While I am only here in the now half the time
While I make my life’s work overcoming
She touches my shoulder
Sweetly, and smiles
Reminding me that I once was her
Waiting for my mother to love me
As much as them
Waiting for my mother to know
How much I loved her
I can give her what I didn’t have
But I don’t know how to start
She touches my shoulder
Nudging me into wakefulness
Reminding me that it’s not too late
May 13, 2014 § Leave a comment
I have feverishly weaved threads
I have desperately tried to tie seams
Without thought to an end pattern
Without thought to other than right now
I sew to hold on to what is in hand
I sew to extend the life of the worn
Knowing that a blanket’s worth is not its’ look
Just as not all great stories are inside a book
I have nervously minced words
I have bravely tried to live up to
With such an unattainable ideal inside my head
With such an unreachable goal within my grasp
I have broken promises, I have outright lied
I have depended on how many times I have died
With not so much as a nod to how I survived
With not so much as a whisper of gratitude
I have wrapped myself in righteousness as grace
Worn it upon sleeve as much as used it to save face
I have since apologized, I have since made good
I have tried as hard as any one could
And though it doesn’t look like much now
This patchwork of reaching for my ideals
Keeps me warm and I feel safe within
While I wonder where you are and pray you’re okay
December 3, 2013 § 3 Comments
Well, it’s certainly beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here. We’ve even had snow for a couple of weeks already. The last few years have seen us staying green well into December to the point of concern that we might not have a white Christmas. A definite must have up here in the Great White North.
So, the tree is up if not yet decorated (the pic is from last year). Half of my shopping and wrapping is done and a third of my baking is already in the freezer. It’s been fun making the usual preparations, with one tiny drawback.
I’ve been doing most of this stuff either by myself or with other adults. The kids, well…25 and 18 hardly qualify anymore I suppose, are not the least bit interested in participating in all this Yuletidiness.
I really miss having little ones around to do this stuff with. The excitement, the chatter, the glitter, the mess, the giggles, the oohs and aahs. It really is not the same, as much as I love Hubby and my BFF, without the delightful queries of a child learning how to tie a bow, the observations of how making a hole at the top of a painted cardboard ornament is tricky and asking if they can use blue icing for the Santa’s hat sugar cookies that are finally cooled. Well, of course you can!
So, I’m just drifting through parental limbo more observer than participant as my grown children start their journeys into young adulthood. Might I add, without nary a sign from either of them (both are happily single without much interest in dating) that there are any grandchildren in my near, or even distant, future.
Anyone got a pre-schooler I can borrow?
July 17, 2013 § Leave a comment
It’s been six weeks, thereabouts, since my last post. The summer is almost half over and I have no idea where the time went.
We just got back from Niagara Falls for Daughter’s birthday, part two (we went last year) where she turned the big 18 and got herself a tattoo…yoink! Not my baby anymore indeed.
I wish I could regale you with camping stories but unfortunately our camper trailer has been in the shop for the last three weeks. Apparently its not easy to find parts for a 30 year old model. Whodathunkit?
We’re experiencing a weeks long heat wave, today we have a humidex of 43 degrees CELCIUS. That’s stupid hot no matter how you measure it. It’s one of those years where I’m bowing down in utter gratefulness for the pool, especially because we don’t have central air conditioning. One small window unit and fans is how we’re managing the heat indoors. Well, that and going to hang out at the local that does have air conditioning. 😉
In other news, well…there is no other news. I’ve opted to skip this month’s Organize 2013 post because it’s just too darn hot to even think about organizing, let alone actually do any.
I hope you (looking at you Shady!) are having a wonderful summer so far. Perhaps cooler temps will encourage more regular posts on my part.
September 8, 2012 § 3 Comments
What do you do at first downpour
After the driest summer on record?
You go outside and get your feet wet
You raise your arms a little bit
Then you bust a move or two
While the rain falls over you
By dancing in the rain
September 8, 2012 § 2 Comments
Twenty four years have since flown by
Since I first met my little guy
Button nose, eyes deep brown
Auburn gossamer on his crown
Speeding through all life’s stages
Time is a war that endlessly wages
Turning our babies, into kids and teens and then
One day we are looking at young women and men
And we are brought to wonder
How the hell did that happen?
Love, Mom xo